I am quite good at it
[ Home ]I think the most horrible thing in this world is not being insane but
being treated as lunatic. Can you imagine that you are totally calm and
sane, but for some reasons ,people don't believe in you at all. At the
same time you do have the desire to make others believe in you. So you
cry , you shout out loud , and you beg them to believe you. What you
show to them about yourself is a crazy face. And all your action in
people's eyes is just exactly mad and people will treat you like a
psychopath. That's the thing I can't bear.
So I tell myself to
be calm down all the time. But I can't do it. I'm born to add trouble to
myself and I can't pretend my feeling. I am just so 'straight '.
So
maybe I can do better about my relationship between others. I just
don't want to. Sometimes I know that I can say something to make someone
feel great , but I just don't want to. Maybe because all the words I
say are undoubtedly fake just to please someone which makes me feel
mean. So when there is a proper time to do some apple polishing I just
let the moment go and walk away. Although I am quite good at it.
I
think maybe there is something wrong with me. I often classify people
into different two kinds, the people I like and the people I hate. I
know it's no good and sometimes stupid and even offend others. But I
just don't want to see ,talk or even say hello to the people I don't
like very much. Some days I even hate all the people around me. It's
okay. I know it's just my bad emotions not my true thoughts. Everyone
needs relaxing and being bad guys to have fun.
I just realized
that I use a lot of 'but' in my writing. I say something good about
myself and in the same sentence I destroy it. And I say something would
destroy my reputation and also in the same sentence I praise myself.
Easy words can express complex meanings