back to normal

or whatever normal may seem to me, i don't know i think i have a different definition of normal as compared to other people don't midn mind the comma splice streams of consciousness aren't gramattically grammatically correct nor are they free of spelling errors. 

thanks for not throwing me away, by the way. think i'll just hang on to you like a leech now yes despite this disgusting imagery a leech is what i am, sucking onto others to give meaning to my existence as a person as a whole because i'm so fucking empty inside, so empty it hurts sometimes and i cry and cry until there are no more tears and it's probably only then that i am truly truly empty of everything i can be made up of inside. 

lofter is becoming more of a private diary space for my exhibitionist likings. if only this space would stay sacred and hidden to everyone i know. if only, if only. (that's probably from a book.) 

sudden urges to cut have disappeared, i guess that's good enough for now.